There will be suffering, Or not!
Well, sort of, maybe. It’s up to you!
When it comes to hurt and traumatic events there will be suffering for as long as one holds onto those past wounds and injustices. We don’t let go and forgive for the offender. We let go and forgive for ourselves, so that we can move on and heal from the traumas of our past.
If you want the people who hurt you to live on in your heart then the best way to do that is to hold a grudge or resentment.
You see it’s really quite simple and often overlooked; but “hate” lives in the heart too! In order to hate someone we have to care about their actions, their mistakes and their behaviors; caring about what a person does or did rests in our heart.
When we live in the spirit of forgiveness we live in such a way that we “for” (as in forward) “give” (as in gift) people with absolution be-fore an offensive act occurs. That is living IN the spirit of forgiveness.
So what do we do about past hurts and atrocities? We let them go; we stop holding on! We drop the rope that connects us to them. We cut the heart strings to the wound! Thus making the person who committed the act irrelevant; the way they should be. By holding on we make them relevant, the last thing most of us want.
Why don’t or won’t people let go and forgive? Because many people operate on the failed notion that by letting go of the hurt we somehow let that person off the hook for what they did. Unfortunately that holding on is just a failed rationalization for keeping a resentment alive. If we do actually “make them pay” somehow then we allow that person to further affect our lives. If we commit a crime against them then we will live out the consequences of our reaction to their act. Two wrongs still don’t make a right no matter how old we are. Act, don’t react. When we react we give them the power to control us and further ruin our lives. The last thing we want!
Letting go and forgiving their act doesn’t let them off the hook. That’s between them, the Universe, Karma and God.
Being a selfish “ass” (insert your word for them here) is suffering enough. Hurt sick people, hurt people; that’s all they know. Letting hurt pay itself forward is a negative act.
We get to decide if we are going to be loving people or resentful hurtful people. We can either fill our hearts with hurt and pain or with love and grace. Remember, grace is undeserved gift and you have the power to give grace too!
My experience tells me this: My heart is much more comfortable being completely filled with love then it is with even just a little bit of bitterness and resentment.
Despite what they may have done I get to decide what’s in,,
Emmanuel S. John
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